Why is my penis so small? No, seriously, can anyone tell me?

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Whats brown and sticky? Brown paint,

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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I was having sex with thisgirl and now I'm going to be a dad. All because I didn't wear a condom

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Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

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Knock knock. Whos there. Your landlord. Your landlord who? Bitch, i'm here with your eviction notice you haven't paid rent in weeks

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What's worse than being fired? Eating a bucket of diarrhea.

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

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Where did the girl go when a bomb was dropped on her? Everywhere

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knock knock. who's there. gestapo.

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Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

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I'm black and I will beat your children At checkers, they can have red

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How do u know what a ass is. You no once you meet adam mac.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms Why couldnt he get up? He had no legs What did the boy get for Christmas? Cancer What did the boy get for Easter? A funeral Knock, knock Who's there? Not the boy.

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What's the most confusing day in the ghetto? Fathers day.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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Why was the little girl crying. Her dad wiped his bloody penis with her teddybear.

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How do you double any amount of cash? Stack it up and fold it in half.

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What did the kid in the wheelchair get for Christmas? AIDS.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

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When you nut and slice her fukcing dumb head off fucking dumb BITCH DIES

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops