What do you call someone that blows up a plane? Nothing you were on that plane

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A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows because a chicken is incapable of communicating it's reason to humans.

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what did the african say after he got beat by the cops? wow i really shouldn't have sliced that mans head off.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Find a half-worm.

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A duck walks into a bar, guess what the bartender does............ GIVES HIM A SEAT AND 6 FREE SHOTS! But instead of that the bartender promptly escort the duck out considering the fact that in all bars there is a no animal and/or pet policy so the duck went... and commitid a series of loud noises before he got to a hotel and hung itself, that is what any depressed hungover duck would do.

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

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Two cats are sat on a window ledge. One cat looks to the other and says "Meoww".

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Why did the black man have a Lamborghini in his garage? Because he got good grades in school, was accepted into a nice college, and earned a medical degree, which he used to get himself a well-paying job in the medical field.

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What's worse than a work in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing the same joke repeated thousands of times on anti-joke.com.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's bigger.

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What do you say when you see a flying donkey Wtf

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What is a black person's favorite food? It varies from person to person, just as with any race.

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Why did the piano explode? Beacause someone planted an explosive inside of it.

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Q: whats worse than being in the car for 1hour A: being in the car for 2 hours Made by: grant chapman:)

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A: Did you know Helen Keller had a treehouse? B: No. A: Neither did she.

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why did the man jump out of the plane without a parachute? Im not really sure, maybe to commit a slow and painful suicide.

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How do u know what a ass is. You no once you meet adam mac.

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G

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

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how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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