Q. what is your favorite food? A. Chicken, burritos, sandwich, rice, hot dog, turkey, duck, carrot, broccoli, eggplant, apple, blueberry, pear, raspberry, blackberry, orange, grapes fries, chips, cheese, pretzels, worms, and candy canes.

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What do you call 20 Investment Bankers buried to their necks in sand? A team building exercise at the beach sponsored by an Investment Bank.

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"Hello, is this the Krusty Krab?" "No, this is Patrick."

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A man walks into a bar, gets caught in a knife fight, and dies horribly. The funeral was closed casket.

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Riddle me this, riddle me that. I'll eat your f^cking cat.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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A one armed blond is in a tree, how to you get her to come down? You wave to her?

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Three men of different ethnic and socio-economic upbringings enter a pub. A strange situation befalls them or a question is posed. The first two respond in turn, in manners typical of their profession or educational background. The third, however, either draws on his specific expertise and responds so as to outwit the others, or makes an egregious and pun-filled blunder, leaving himself open to mockery by his peers.

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Whats funny about alexis? she's really a boy!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am ADD Bird

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Whats worse than finding a worm in a apple? Getting raped by a skorpian

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What did the home-less man eat for dinner last night? Nothing.

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Your mum is so fat, she is likely to do die before my mum.

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A horse walks into a bar the barmam asks why the long face The horse replies he's suffering from depression after his family was killed in a car crash and he has now turned to alcohol to sort his sorrows

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Why did the nun cry? 12 babies were killed under her care.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Thats what they tell me because I'm blind

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Your mumma's so fat she is fat

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what do you do when you see a black man punching a girl? act like you dont see it and get the hell out of harms way

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roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme others don't.

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A priest and a rabbi attempt to take a whale to a bar. But due to the enormous size and the need for water, the whale couldnt come.

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what is brown and sticky? a stick.

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People are like trees. When hit multiple times with an ax they fall down.

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Knock knock Who's there? Jesus Jesus who? Jesus Christ, your lord and savior.

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When Harry met Sally, she slapped him twice without reason, walked away and kept on with her day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops