Mikey : I wan to divorce. Miney :are u funking crazy Mikey : no I'm funking dazy !

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A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face?" the man replies, "my wife has terminal cancer and has been given 2 weeks to live."

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What shoots rockets but is not classed as a deadly weapon? A toy rocket launcher, I lied about the rockets.

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My favorite color is Ham. And I can count to Potato.

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How do you drown a dumb blonde? Hold her underwater.

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How much dub could a dubstep dub if a dubstep could step dub?

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ash Oh hey Ash, I was expecting you, come on in!!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Never mind that. I have a gun and your child. Come out with all your valuables and he won't get hurt.

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a black guy walks into a black bar

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whats funny about about adailia rose?nothing shes just fucked up in every way shape and form. but 100% defenatly stick my cock in her shitter

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A: Knock Knock B: 7

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How much cabbage is in sean's teeth? lots, like it's rotting in there

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How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one.

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What do a fish and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

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How do you treat lice Avoid getting them

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A mechanical wheelchair.

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Sammy bought 48 donuts. He ate 36. What was Sammy left with? Diabetes. Sammy was left with diabetes.

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What do you do if you are surrounded by 2000 Hungry cannibals? You talk to them in a calm yet determined diplomatic voice, then you become a part of them. Moral: A part of them... Forever.

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whats 7+4? 74

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daughter and boyfriend havin sex baby baby baby ohhh!! mum walks in; what you doin signin to justin bieber,oh ok just make sure you dont sing to his song its crap!!!!!!!

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Q: What do you say when you see your T.V. floating at night? A: That's so frickin awesome

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Roses are blurred Violets too I have astigmatism I cant see shit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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