Why couldn't the elephant ride the bike? Because it didn't have a thumb to ring the bell!

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk in to a barber shop They each ask the barber for haircuts of their preference.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The farmer decided it was too cruel to fence in the animal, however getting run over by a car was a fate... not worse than death because it died.

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How do you sink a Polish battleship? You breach the hull.

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Q: why did the black guy die? A: he got shot

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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Buy a SHOTGUN!!!!

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saw a free cat yesterday...it was dead on the side of the road

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What does 2 + 2 equal? 4

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Patient- Doctor! I feel like a piece of ****! Doctor- What is ****? Patient- It's four dots on the computer screen representing a curse word. Doctor- What computer screen?

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mary had a little lamb it's fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went it did a massive shit

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What do you call an horse? A horse, because horse does not start with a vowel and that would be grammatically incorrect.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette? I DON'T have a Corvette in my garage.

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How do you make a tissue dance? You give it dance lessons.

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A man walks into a bar, buys a pint of beer, talks to his friends for while and leaves.

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why did the asian wearing a sombrero buy orange juice at 2am? because hes trying to stay sober and do away with alcohol for good because its ruining his family and he wants to be a good father and husband.

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A Pakistani news reader.

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My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? This is a psychological question which the egg came from the chicken, but the chicken also came from an egg, so the world may never know exactly.

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Why had the father left his family. Because he was tired of dancing in a circle.

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I am back with more jokes! -Lets go Mets It is best to dislike this one

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what do you call a guy called Bill? Bill

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your mom is so fat she is at high risk of a future heart attack and should be taken to a cardiologist

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i stole a monkey from a man in a yellow hat his name is george now his name is i hate you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops