Holy Tulip Answer- Sexy Mofo

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Why does the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have legs to walk and they are not able to fly across the road, like the rest of their bird friends.

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Why did the chicken cross the roard? There were no cars in the immediate vacinity and the chicken therefore came to a logical conclusion that it was a rational theorem on which crossing the road could be based.

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David: Hey Bill. Do you know what the most common place for a Democrat to work is? Bill: No. David: An insane Asylum, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a black person to work is? Bill: No. David: A prison, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a 20th centrury undercover German Jew to work is? Bill: No. David: A morge, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a Scientologist to work is? Bill: No. David: With Democrats. (Writen by Ben, avid Anti-Scienctologist)

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby? I take my cleats off when I jump on the trampoline

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What's worse than a bruise in your knee? A bruise in your other knee. And what is worse than that? The Holocaust. And what is worse than that? A second Holocaust, much bigger, with much more casualties.

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When life gives you lemons you squirt them in someones eyes and steal what life gave them.

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My mum is called Steve

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When do doctors make house calls? When you're sick.

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You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

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Why did the purse kill a circus yeast? Secks

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Q-What did the hobo get for Christmas? A-Pneumonia.

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What do u call a dumb Asian. An american

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Why did Muhammad pray to Jesus? Because he has low self esteem and didn't believe in himself.

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What's the difference between your wife and the kitchen? One is a living organism

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Gay marriage is freaking gay.

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What did the blond say when she got into a car crash? Nothing, she died.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What did the over confident jack-ass say to the hot girl, You'll do.

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Q. What is the fastest animal in the world? A. An Ethiopian chicken.

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How do you protect yourself from fire? Kill an orphan and nail its bones to your skin.

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An alien just ate your family and all of the things you love

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What do you call a guitar with only one string? A guitar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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