What do you call a newborn son? The proudest moment of your life. What do you call a newborn daughter? A disappointment.

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Why did the janitor commit suicide? He was sick of people's shit.

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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Do you know what killed the cat? Feline AIDS

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this isn't an anti joke but you guys remember teletubbies?

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How do you survive the end of the world? You can't- everyone will die!

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"I'm so hungry!" "Hello so hungry, I am Matt. You must come from a very odd family if your name is " so hungry"!

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Your mom is so fat that her doctor told her to go on a diet.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack" Ducks don't talk. But if it were to say something it would probably mention how it is concerned about the fact that the majority of people on the internet don't know what ducks say to each other.

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why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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Your mom is so fat that she steps on the scale and sees a relatively large number compared to the rest of human society.

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Q: What's green and goes through walls? A: A pickle, you just have to throw it really hard.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

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How did Jimmy get hit by the car? He dropped his Ice cream cone.

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How do you know if you are an alien? When you start maulesting sea creatures for their milk

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Its true... Chuck Norris has no hair on his balls. Because hair doesnt grow on steel.

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Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

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How you know when dislextic

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape his burning car wreck.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? we will never know he never opened it

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What did the little girl get for Christmas? A pipe bomb

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Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops