When is a door not a door? Never.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Last week, I visited the Virgin Islands. Now it's just called Islands.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did billy get after sex? Herpes

thumb_up thumb_down +13

My parents died!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Smelly Indians.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the girl with a striped ball fall over? She was a victim of a drive-by shooting.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why didn't Josh go to school? On his way to school, a majestic flying homeless man hit him in the head with a sea cucumber.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

knock knock whos there. no one your hullicinating, heroine is hell of a drug

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends what its name is.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why is this joke an anti joke? Because it's not trying to be funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? wanna go ride bikes?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms Why couldnt he get up? He had no legs What did the boy get for Christmas? Cancer What did the boy get for Easter? A funeral Knock, knock Who's there? Not the boy.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you get children to behave? Chop them up.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the boy in hospital? He fell off the bus and was run over by many cars.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

a man walks in to a night club he can not danse so he just wachis pepol

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did a black person get gingivitis? He repeatedly didn't brush which caused both dental plaque and tartar getting filled with harmful bacteria, and if they aren't removed from teeth, they will begin to irritate the gums and cause gingivitis.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I guys look at this new game I bought, what is it, it's called penis it's supposed to be toatally hard

thumb_up thumb_down +13

"The Civil War wasn't won in a day, it was won in a lifetime." -Marc Cruz

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's green and fuzzy, has 4 legs, and if it falls from a tree it'll kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops