Roses are red Violets are actually the color violet, contrary to popular belief.

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Why did the young boy drop his bus. He was hit by an ice cream.

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What's Green and flies? Super Grapes cousin Super Grape

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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If there's somethin' strange in your neighborhood Who ya gonna call 911

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What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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A car with four Mexicans drives off of a cliff. What's the bad news? They were my friends.

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OMG YOU BOUGHT ME FLOWERS THANK YOU

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Chuck Norris counted to infinity; by calculating the sum of a divergent series.

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-Knock knock -Use the doorbell -Oh... ding dong -Who is it? -Me -Oh -Yeah -Cool -Come in -Okay -Take off your shoes -Alright -How are you? -Good -That's good -Yeah -Okay -K -Oh -Bye -See ya

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Coach walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, i can't serve you. You aren't wearing pants. Coach says "put it on my bill."

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Why can't black people swim? Many of them can. It's racist to assume that.

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what do you call a a miget crossed with a vampire? A miget, vampires are a figment of you're screwed up imagination.

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Q: Whats the difference between me and a ghost? A: Ghosts arnt dolphins!

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Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Where do the biggest potatoes grow? the ground.

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? Because the light was red and cars had stopped.

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Why was the uneducated black guy raped? To make this joke more risky and therefore funnier.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It escaped the zoo.

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what did the cripple, the cancer guy, the blonde, and the blackguy have in common they all have no reason to live

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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