- Anti Joke

Justin Bieber.

What did the truck driver get when he ran over my cat? A pave low.

cops:knock- knock person: who's there? cops: the cops person: the cops who cops: we found the body #Casey Anthony

Why did Justin Bieber cross the road? Because the chicken chose him as a decoy.

What has a beard and bombed the World Trade Center? Osama Bin Ladin. No, but seriously he's a terrorist.

Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

You know what's worse than having friends with a lake houses Not being invited to their lake house...

What did the piano say to the guitar? "G, it's not A nice day. B careful, Dee." What did the guitar say to the piano? "F you!" What did the piano reply? "Eek! C you later!"

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm drunk, I want Taco Bell.

Q: What do you call a stop sign in the winter? A: A stop sign in the winter.

Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

what is green and has weels? grass i was kidding about the weels.

Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8-9-10.

Did you hear the one about the man who fell asleep on the job? He woke up.

What did the bicycle say to the fat kid? Nothing, bikes cant talk.

Tunechi

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

Q: Why didn't i save my work? A: Because i didn't do any work?

A man is traveling to the nearest grocery store. He stops at an intersection and notices a another car beside him. It was a black corvet. So he blew it up and the men inside of it as well. He then proceeded to call the cops as to try to cover the explosion up as if it was not his fault. Unfortunately, the police had video evidence of the incident through video surveillance and the man was arrested for life. He never got a second chance in life and eventually died a slow, painful death in the hands of cancer at the age of 91.

What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruising at about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, the cops were waiting. He was found guilty in court and forced to pay the blonde a settlement of $250, 000.

Why are hurricanes named after women? I don't know I was asking you

What's worse than a papercut? Dying

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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