what is the best way to start a car? put in the key and turn it.

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Friends are like potatoes, If you eat them, they will die.

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Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

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Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

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What's worse that getting raped by a frog? That would never occur, as frogs do not have genitalia to commit rape.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? Using teamwork and coordination, each can place one foot on the seat of the stool, and using each other for balance and support, they can all stand on the stool. The fact that they are gay is prevalent.

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What do you call a frog with a bow tie? Cute!

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a group of mormons walk into a bar... just kidding mormons aren't aloud to drink.

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Why were accents created? So when people go to Texas they come back sounding like a D-Bag.

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Two guys fight over a girl. The girl gets up from under them.

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Six had severe paranoia.

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Can i have a Ice Cream Kuhn?

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do Chinese kids have that African kids dont? Chinese citizenship and at least one Chinese parent.

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"My, what big teeth you have!" exclaimed Little Red Riding Hood. "Because I'm a wolf," explained the wolf. "And I dress in women's clothing because it makes me happier."

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Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

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A baby seal walks into a bar... The bartender looks at it and says: too young.

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a guy walked into a bar, ordered a drink, sipped it slowly thinking of his waisted youth. then he finished his drink and went home to his wife of 34 years

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Why couldn't the woman drive? She was dead.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is a woman.

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Three men are walking, the first one walks into a bar. He has a couple of drinks because he is depressed. He drives home, drunk, and dies in a car accident. His wife finds out and hangs herself.

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What did one dinosaur say to the other? Nothing and if you think dinosaurs talk you might need to be diagnosed for having Schizophrenia. Invega is a subtle treatment.

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How do you piss off a moose? You throw popcorn at it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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