A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

What do men and parking spots have in common? Both often have cars on top of them. Vehicular manslaughter is a serious issue.

Why did the maid clean the house? Because that's her job, ya moron.

Granny porn!

Your mother is so large she finds it difficult to fit into regular sized clothing

Yo mama's so fat that when she goes into a clothing store, she often feels self-conscious about having to buy larger than average clothing sizes than most people.

Why did the boy punch a little kid in the face? Because he was a bully and liked to feel superior.

How do you stop a baby from making bad grades? You throw a javelin at its head.

why do black people hate whites? their is no light in the ghetto

What do you call a fat zombie? Dead

Knock Knock WHO'S THERE?????!!! y u mad? u have been knocking at the doors for 5 hours now, mom

Your mum's so fat, she attends regular weight loss facilities to lose weight.

What do you call a fat computer? Adele :)

What did the white man say to the black man? Hi i'm Steve, it's nice to meet you

Why was 6 afraid of 7.... because 7 was black

What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

Did u think that last joke was funny? Well this one isnt

what do you call a kid with no legs and no arms some one who will nevaer forfill there bucket list cause they cant write it

When Geese fly in their 'V' formation, why is one line bigger than the other? There's more geese in that line.

Whats the difference between a horse and glue? Nothing

What happened to the girl who got an infection from an abortion? She died.

Why can't Chuck Norris die? He can, he's just a normal human being.

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

Why didn't the oven turn on? Because nothing turned it on.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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