Knock knock. Who's there? Auntie.

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person: Ask me if i'm a tree other person: are you a tree? person: no

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "A door to door salesman. Are you unsatisfied with the way your dish soap handles your plates? Then I have the product for you!" "I'm not interested in your product, but thank you anyway." "No problem. On an off note, how did you hear me? I didn't speak very loudly when I said knock knock, and I didn't even bother to knock on the door or ring the doorbell." "I have really good hearing." "Oh, okay. And for future reference, maybe you should open the door when talking to a visitor. Then body language gets established and the conversation flows more nicely that way." "That's some good advice, and I'll take it. Thanks, salesman." "You're welcome. On to the next house."

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Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

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An astronaut, a nun and a fireman walk into a bar. They all order something to drink as they have all had a busy day.

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"Is your fridge running?" "Yes, I believe so" "You'd better go make sure, because I put some chicken in there and it didn't seem very cold to me"

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Person #1: Hello captain obvious. Person #2: Hello.

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hey i jut met u, and i have alzeihmer, cheese and toast

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What did Bambi say to her mother when her mother was killed? Nothing. Bambi's a deer. Duh.

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Q: what's green and has wheels? A: a john deere tractor

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Why was Hellen Keller blind and deaf? Because she was a girl.

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why should you not go to sleep in public? Because that's how you get raped.

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- Knock, knock. -- How many dead babies does it take to cross the street and walk into a bar? - That's an odd question to ask to a visitor. -- Your mom.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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your in court a woman police officer says anything you say can and will be held against you. the man replies titty

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Person 1: Hey how's your day? Person 2: Good Person 1: Cool

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Sonny Bono walked into a bar. No, wait, he crashed into a tree.

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What did the clock say to the book? I have no batteries.

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Why didn't the boy answer the phone when it was ringing? Because he had no arms to pick it up.

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What did the asian say to the President of the United States? I don't speak English

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whats the difference between 69 and 6.9 theres a period in the middle

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay guys house Knock Knock Who's there? The chicken

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Knock, knock Who's there? The electrician And about bloody time too, you'd better come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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