Why did Suzy have burns on her face? Because her little brother attacked her with a hot curling iron thinking it was a lightsaber.

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If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal, and this wasn't just any road. It was the new highway built, with frequent traffic jams and a speed limit of 90 mph.

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roses are red grass is greener get in the bed and suck on my wiener

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Why did the joke feel paranoid? Because everyone kept laughing at him.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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what does the sloth say to Jonah reincastle? nothing Jonah is the sloth

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Why did the girls hair catch on fire her neighbor bullied her

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You know what they say about people with big feet? Big shoes.

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what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

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What did the bird say to the other bird? Nothing because birds can't talk.

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how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? 7

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How did the soup lose his job? He got fired.

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Pickle

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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What do you call three black guys in a bar? A bar.

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Why was the school girl called a dork. Because a whale penis is called a dork, and she identically resembles a giant aquatic dick.

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Whys the Elephant afraid of the mouse? i dont know im not an Zoologist

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why couldnt the man dunk? because he was 3' 2" and a legal midget.

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? Nothing. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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What did the chair say to the fan? Nothing. Chairs and fans are objects so they do not have the physical ability to talk.

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What did the farmer say to the survivor of the plane crash that just crashed on his land? "Need a band-aid?"

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours Stolen propety....

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What do you call a deer with no legs? Legs in the City

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops