An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Tell me fuck you Fuck you No fuck your mum

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The snake had no skatebord to put johnnys refrigirator because the bettles mom had stolen the clowns purse were his parking had been for the airplane higway stop.

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A man lying in bed at night rolls over and starts rubbing his wife's back. She says, "Not tonight, honey, I have a headache." Her husband respected her wishes and went to sleep.

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what's worse than dropping half your sandwich? Getting hit in the face with a sledgehammer

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Why did the black man cross the road? he just wanted to cross the road, racist. ... after he had robbed a bank

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Do you know what has always angered me about people not choosing to control their own lives Nero?

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How do you get a black man down from a tree? Cut the rope!

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I EAT YOUR SOUL. NOM NOM.

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What's the difference between a black man and a Ginger? Their pigmentation.

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Two 16 year old girls are chatting on their way to school: Girl 1 : "hey, is that a hickey on your neck? say, have you been naughty? is it Brian's mark?" Girl 2 : "That's not a hickey, it's a bruise. My dad came home drunk again last night and beat me up for no reason."

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Hey have you seen Stevie wonders house? No? Don't worry he has'nt either.

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Obama ran for re-election in 2012. He lost because he is a horrible president. the liberal left blame his defeat on racists and propose harsh Hate-Crime punishments. America falls into disrepair.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he was raped.

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god made the sea god helped invent the first wheel but as you know he also made me a really big deal !

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What will you never see? A white Guy that can jump.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a retarded failure

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why is 6 scared of 7? because 7 eight 9

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whats worse than someone on the phone during a movie? your mother queefing on your bowl of cheerios

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she is legally blind

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You know whats better than cold pizza? Winning a nobel prize.

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a man was shot.... he died

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Why did the the dog not eat its food? Because the night before the dog had gotten serious disease and lost appetite

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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