Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

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cops:knock- knock person: who's there? cops: the cops person: the cops who cops: we found the body #Casey Anthony

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Q: What do you call a stop sign in the winter? A: A stop sign in the winter.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

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You know what's worse than having friends with a lake houses Not being invited to their lake house...

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What did the piano say to the guitar? "G, it's not A nice day. B careful, Dee." What did the guitar say to the piano? "F you!" What did the piano reply? "Eek! C you later!"

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A Women is holding a piece of paper with her rights what is she holding a grocery list

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Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

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Customer: Waiter, waiter, there is a fly in my soup! Waiter: Sorry madam.

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what is green and has weels? grass i was kidding about the weels.

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Did you hear the one about the man who fell asleep on the job? He woke up.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm drunk, I want Taco Bell.

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What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

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What has a beard and bombed the World Trade Center? Osama Bin Ladin. No, but seriously he's a terrorist.

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Tunechi

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What did the bicycle say to the fat kid? Nothing, bikes cant talk.

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8-9-10.

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Why did Justin Bieber cross the road? Because the chicken chose him as a decoy.

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Justin Bieber.

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Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

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OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruising at about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, the cops were waiting. He was found guilty in court and forced to pay the blonde a settlement of $250, 000.

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Why are hurricanes named after women? I don't know I was asking you

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How do you have fun while stuck in traffic? Play bumper cars!

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What's worse than a papercut? Dying

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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