When life gives you a hamburger, you know you're at Mr. Life's Hamburger Stand on 8th Avenue.

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MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

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Roses are red, and violets are freakin violet. Not blue.

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Why did the girl with a striped ball fall over? She was a victim of a drive-by shooting.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, they really should be purple.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Are you mentally handicapped? Bananas are fruit.

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Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

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Doctor: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your parents survived the car accident. Kid: And the bad news is? Doctor: I have a horrible sense of humor, they're both dead. I'm so sorry.

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What's cooler than being cool? An object at absolute zero

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A man told another,"You suck." The insulted man finished the sentence,"On juice boxes."

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what's the diferance between a boner and a lambroghini? I dont have a lambroghini

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Your mom's so fat, she's is bigger than the average person.

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What do you get when you cross scabies with genital warts? Krusty Krabs.

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There are two cowboys in the kitchen. One says to the other, "I feel at 'home on the range.'" To which the other replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he realizes he's not pursuing what he truly loves.

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What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

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Why was the 13 year old drug addict crying? Because somebody shot him in the foot

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Why is that man such a perv? I don't know. Ever since I let him see my boobs, he has had this undying obsession with sex. So, I guess that, as society would classify him, he is a sex addict. He will do anything for it, even if he needs a man to get it. I feel terrible about starting his obsession, and plan to take him to therapy next week for the sake of his health.

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A Blonde, Brunnette, and red head are on the beach. They find a sand gene and are each granted a wish. The Brunnette wishes for a yot. The Red Head wishes to never again get sun burn. The Blonde wishes for more sun. The world is overtaken and insinerated by the sun. An alien spaceship finds the Red head in a space suit floating around randomly when they ask how she survived she says "I don't sun burn"

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Why is it OK to make fun of a deaf person? Because they can't hear.

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What's red, white and blue? You're mother on her period after she had sex. I don't know where the blue came from.

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Q: Where did Sarah go when the bomb exploded? A: Everywhere.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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What is worse than going to school? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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