- Anti Joke

What do you do when you see a hot girl in your bed

whats green and lives in the water

What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

Why did you mom shop at Wal-Mart? She had a coupon

How many seals does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Depends on how high the ceiling is.

What's better than a stick? A stone

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

Why couldn't the Muslim eat pork? He didn't have a tongue.

Knock Knock "Who's there?" "This is Frank from Walside Windows just wondering if you wou..." (Door Slams Shut) "Damn those people are annoying"..

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Why did Humpty Dumpty fall off the wall? The wall was unstable and not to be sat on.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He had to get to the other side.

what’s worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? one dead baby in 12 trash cans

A man says to his wife, "Honey, sex just hasn't been the same lately." "That's probably because of my yeast infection," replies his wife.

My title of old was Satan. You humans killed my brother, ending God the holy trinity`s stay on earth, the Gods Omega. Moral: And yet you call ME? THE ANTICHRIST?!? I OFFERED HIM WATER! YOU OFFERED HIM TORTURE AND DEATH!

What's the thing that freaks guys out the most? When you're about to have sex with a girl and it turns out she had a penis and it's bigger than yours

RECTUM? Damn near spelled "Wrecked Him" the wrong way!

what do you call a shitty anti-joke? A shitty anti-joke.

What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

What did the Jew do before the movie? He turned off his cell phone.

what does 2+2equals? i think its 3 but i could be wrong

Where did Susie go after the explosion? I don't know: she was nowhere near the explosion at the time that it happened. She probably got up to use the bathroom.

whats funny? this joke. just kidding. your face.

Why are black people black? They're not. They're brown you idiot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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