What's red and smells like blue paint? Fetus Blood. Due to the low concentration of iron, it gives it an aroma of paint.

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You know how they say cats have nine lives? They don't.

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I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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12345678910111213141516171819whatcomesnext

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSUCKMYDICK

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the car.

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Q: How do mentally retarted people read books A: They dont

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Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What do you call a fly without wings? A walk

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I was going to tell a gay joke. But that would offensive

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I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

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what's white and bumpy? Milk. But it's not bumpy.

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Three men walk into a bar. Something happens not at relating to them.

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car get in the car

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G:nock nock B:come in!

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You dropped something.... Yo lip

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Why did the wheel fall of the car?? Cause you can't fit 10 pancakes inside of a doghouse.

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What's funnier than 24? Nothing, 24 is just a number. There's is nothing humorous about it. Go away.

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-what does burglars afraid of? -cancer.

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What happened to the lion which escaped from the zoo? It was successfully recaptured.

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A blind man cant see this joke, so I probably shouldnt write it..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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