Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from K.F.C

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

knock knock. who's there. gestapo.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the difference between Tom and Jerry? One is a cat, and the other is a mouse.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A young boy is concerned about the well- being of his father, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why does the Taliban forbid people from having sex standing up? It might lead to dancing. And then, of course, death.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A black man walks into a house and is shot because it is not his house and it is 2 in the morning.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's worse than being single on Valentine's Day? Finding out your son has AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Whats Pink and fluffy? Yellow fluff thats been dyed pink :D

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why can't Bin laden drive because he's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms Why couldnt he get up? He had no legs What did the boy get for Christmas? Cancer What did the boy get for Easter? A funeral Knock, knock Who's there? Not the boy.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

what has wheels and drives? a boat i lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What happened when the young child fell off of the swing? He broke open his head causing him to be sent to the hospital for 3 weeks.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's worse than a work in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing the same joke repeated thousands of times on anti-joke.com.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree??? Because it was dead.....

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Who is green? Mike Wazowsky.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock Knock there's a doorbell

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What does a hooker eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? Food.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops