Why did the smoker die at a petrol station? He had lung cancer.

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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What happens if you roll a nickel down a street in Mexico? It eventually stops and lands on its side.

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Why did the black girls wear fancy clothes to the mall? Public nudity is considered a crime in many parts of the world. It would be advisable to wear clothes in public areas, so as to avoid being arrested.

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what happens when a panther and a gorilla fight? i dont know i never seen it before.

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what do you call a cow on a rollercoaster? a very dangerous and unlikely event

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Why do black people like watermelons so much? They don't. It's just a stereotype.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: WHERE'S MY TRACTOR?!

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Who are you if you can rub 2 ice cubes to make fire? Chuck Norris

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Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Your mom is so nerdy that she probably went to college, got her degree, then found a very successful job in a field that she finds interesting.

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im a policeman the car infront of me had a foot hanging out of the trunk. i pulled him over. i closed the trunk and proceeded to inform him of the dangers of open trunks.

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What do you call a broken boomarang? A stick.

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Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

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I once saw my grandparents making love.. that's why I dont eat raisens

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You're mama's so stupid, she decided to go back to school and finish her degree in Russian Literature to improve her self-esteem and maybe -- just maybe -- save her marriage, which had been on the rocks, mostly due to her intolerable self-loathing.

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What is the difference between a priest and a nun? Cant you see the nun is dead you insensitive bastard!

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What's worse then your mouse running away? Getting hit by a plane

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Women's rights.

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What do family members and a loaf of bread have in common? If you smash them with a hammer they die.

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Simon says.. Nothing because he's deaf.

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Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

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When it comes ro the zodiac my grandmother was a cancer and... She ws killed by... A giant crab

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Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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