How do you make a boy cry? Pour hot soup on his head.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What the the newly born male dog get for his first birthday? A loss of two testicles.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A class of kids were bouncing basketballs in class and a woman teacher comes in and says,"No balls in the classroom please." All the boys leave the class.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

person 1: don't look person 2:Why person 1:because my shirt not on and my boobs are jiggiling

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A Jew, an Irishman and a Russian walk into the bar and the bartender says, "Get the Hell out."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why couldn't the blonde change the lightbulb? she couldn't find the leperchaun at the end of the rainbow

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the young child with no arms and legs get for christmas? A bike.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender? A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car 2 hours later your brother finds you and told you that him and your wife have been cheating on you and your kid is his.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

thumb_up thumb_down -12

hola said the chinese man

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the man die after getting his picture taken The camera was a gun

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what are you your not a human? are you an other?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what do you call balls on richards chin? a dick in his mouth

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Once upon a time, in a magical kingdom, there were too many similar jokes on anti-joke.com. One man thought he could be funny by writing a joke that referenced this, and be even funnier by referencing what he was referencing. Then he referenced that, then that, and so on until the layers of meta caused his brain to explode. Some of it landed in your mother's vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A kid walks in to a bar. The bartender asks the boy where his parents are and he replies that he does not know. They call the police who proceed to try to contact the boy's parents. They have gone missing so the boy must go up for adoption. He gets adopted by an abusive family and runs away. Without a family, job, or money, he could not afford a house. He lived alone in a box until he died of starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

how do u kill a blonde: drop something shiny at the bottom of a pool how do u kill 2 blondes: but a mirror at the bottom of a pool how do u kill 3 blondes: ask which 1 of them is the prettiest and then wait 5 minuetes:)

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock knock. Who's there? Silence. Silence who? No, I meant there was silence, I didn't really say anything. Oh, OK. But seriously, who's there?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your mother is so ugly that I removed her from my friends list on Facebook.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Brian knew how to save the world from the death penalty: "Let's kill everybody who is not against it." So I killed Brian and waste my time in death row now.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

In this case, its black operations, but simply in the term that its a well secret something, its not a lets say, organization that breaks the law, kidnaps listens to phones uses wires, which the FBI does. And when I mean I am a employee, I might have spoken a bit over my head here (sorry, lightheaded), you could well, simply put, I am something between a delivery boy and a mercenary, not the kind that shoots and kills (my shape sucks anyways), but rather the kind that "facilitates" communications between organizations... Thats all I can say without breaking laws that technically do not exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the slaughterhouse was on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

how does wasabi stay open during summer because tiffany is a nice person

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A priest, a jew, and a pirate walk into a bar. An exchange of dialogue occurs with the bartender and hilarity ensues.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops