SQUID DOMINATION!!! Squids WILL Take Over the World!!!

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A girl is talking with her boyfriend - God, you're selfish!!! - No, i sell meat.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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What's big, hairy and smells like sweat? The big show after a hard days work in the ring.

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Two men meet at an office. One man says "why the long face?" Then other man says "I just had plastic surgery."

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Before her maiden voyage, they told the Titanic she could become anything. So she became a submarine.

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Person1: Have you heard about the girraffe who doesn't eat Georgia peaches? Person2: yes. Person1: Oh, never mind then.

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Chuck Norris' beard takes 1st 2nd and 3rd in the most impressive beard catagory. He was the only contestant.

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Everybody has a penis! EVERY BODY! WHY can't feminists admit this obvious anatomical fact? Gahhhh!

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what happened to the atheist when he died? he went to HELL

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Why didn't the dog come to his master when it was called? It didn't have any legs.

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How can you tell if a duck is quaking? Hear it

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What is the biggest lie ever? "I have read and agreed to the Terms of Use"

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When life throws you melons, You probably won't catch them.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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I'm a wise old man, so I'm aloud to touch you in the bathing suit area.

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Roses are read Vliolets are bloo I cant spell How about you

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus is? Trying not to laugh.

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Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

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What did the man do to the begging orphan on a cold Christmas morning? He kicked him.

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What word is always spelled wrongly? None of them. Every word has been spelled right at some point.

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How are friends and trees alike? They fall down when you hit them with an ax.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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