Hey, I just met you And this is crazy, but GET IN THE VAN

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A man buys a kitten from the store. He gets home, takes it out of its cage, and realizes that it wasn't the kitten he wanted. He then returns to the store and exchanges for the kitten he originally wanted, but then decides to keep both because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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The scientists of Cambridge have finally developed a cure for feeling low! They have presented it in the style of a song. See if you can spot the hidden frequency wavelengths when you sing it out lout. They are what make you feel better. You've got to LOVE the world! Be a friend! And when You're down you've got to get up again! And when your blue, here's what you do. Just sing this happy tune! However if that fails, then you should consider getting professional help.

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What did the chocolate milk say? Yoo-hoo.

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What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Today, my house burned to the ground. FML.

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"Knock knock," said the guy about to deliver a knock knock joke.

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Why couldn't the bunny hop? Because it lost both it's legs

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An Irishman walks out of a bar.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

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What did the blonde say when she found a dead bird on the sidewalk? "Aww, look at the poor dead bird!"

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Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? I'm not sure, he could not unwrap them.

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knock knock whose there? banana? banana who? im sorry but you have to go to the doctor now.......

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Why did the young boy drop his bus. He was hit by an ice cream.

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What was pauls mum screaming? Rape

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Faith, Family, Friends, those are three words.

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Why did the bones cross the street? They didn't. The dogs ate them.

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A catholic priest and Jerry Sandusky walk out of an elementary school.

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What is the difference between a peasant and a pheasant? One's a bird.

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Theres a blonde and a brunette at a party. The redhead is left out because she has no soul.

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What is round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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