This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blow job I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

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A mexican and a black man are in a car. Who's driving? The black man. The mexican got his arms shot off in the war and is severely paralyzed. God Bless our troops. Thank you for serving us.

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Why Did The Black Man Cry? KFC Went Bankrupt!

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Is it a bird, Is it a plane, I don't know what it is but it's heading straight for the World Trade Centre

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what do you call a man that is hurt? A: you call him an ambulanse

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What's harder than killing a baby? My penis while doing it. by: Lucky7 LG

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The Yak, a long-coated bovine found in the Himalayas, is named for its distinct call, which sounds similar to "yak-yak-yakyak".

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -George. -George Who? -George Carpenter, Remember? We were in the same class in third grade. -Come on in!

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Why was Carlos fired? Because he stole and smelled of weed.

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What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was persecuted for his faith.

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Q:What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A: A bike

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Yo momma so fat, when she turns around, people give her a welcome back party!

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Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

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What's the difference between a book. A tree's leaves hit the trash cans

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when the zombie apocolypse comes what do you do? you die

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how may horses can you fit in a blender i can't remember what is red and goes 100KPH a horse in a blender

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knock knock. "who's there?" dick. "dick who?" dick ferns.

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Why Do Black People Love Watermelon? Because Its A Delicious Fruit.

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Who ate my sandwich? The office appliance that fell from the sky.

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Why did the blonde go to the post office? Because she received a phone call from them indicating that there was a package for her.

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What's the difference between a black man and a white man? The black man eats chicken.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office, naked but wrapped in Saran Wrap. The Doctor takes one look at him and says, "I can clearly see your nuts."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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