A carpenter walks into a bar. After ordering some wine he tells the bartender that one of his 12 friends will betray him. He also says that once he was captured, the government will execute him on a wooden cross for everyone to see. The bartender in disbelief says to the man "You gotta be kiddin' me, do you think you're Jesus or something?" The man throws his glass of wine to the floor, grabs the bartender by his collar, and says "Hey man, I ordered red wine, not white wine you bastard!" After a few minutes, a group of nurses escort the insane loon back to the mental clinic. The bartender never saw the man again and proceeds to sweep that mess the psycho left on the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse and progressive world in which we live.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the one friend hate the other friend? Because the one friend didnt do a map for social studies he should've done and skipped school for that class and when he came back, the other friend told the social studies teacher he was here and he had to turn in an unfinished poster and now he is a crybaby bitch about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why was the old man cold? ...WHY?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was the man burnt? Cause he fell in a fire

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson? One is a an unsightly blemish that appears on your skin and the other is a dead pop singer.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are chickens violets are pizza this poem makes no sense, Refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she was clumsy. Nevertheless the accident was minor and she did not injure the arms that she had.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Hey I just meet you. And this is crazy, but im a Zombie. And you looks tasty!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q. Why did the 40 year old woman puts on a large amount of makeup? A. She may have gerontophobia.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

roses are red viloites are sour open your legs and give me an hour

thumb_up thumb_down -19

69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the man wipe his bum with a sweat-shirt? Because they were all out of toilet paper

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the boy get nothing from Santa on Christmas? His parents died the night before!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Advertiser: Charlies Tax---------- Advertiser: OMG, who are you... Pedobear: Hello kids, come in my taxi(Van) :D

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a gay man having sex with a woman? Sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

do you have snow in your vagina? because i am going to plow you

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet up with his friend that was on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Sarah Palin's political campaign

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the chipmunk say to the nut? I'm gonna eat you.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the difference between Jews and Germans? Jews are allowed to have an opinion about the Holocaust and hoot and holler and threaten anyone who has a different opinion than they. The sad, anti-joke part of this is that most morons will actually support this tyrannical bullying behavior. Also, special taxes against Germans that they're not allowed to have a problem with. I guess slavery is okay if you're White.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops