what did the bartender say to the customer? a. is it the first option b. is it the second option c. is it the third option.

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Q: What race was Jesus Christ? A: None, he's not real

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Whats black white and red all over? A decapitated panda.

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jsahgfvdjfhgdehv? oiyduhgfdushy

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Hey, you are competitive, but let me have the last word here and you will like it. If you keep poking your nose constantly, the effect will actually overlap, making it stronger and stronger, by all means though, make sure you keep some nose working alright?

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Roses are red bullets are led if you don't take me back now i'll shoot you in the head!

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What the heck are you gonna do if you're on a picnic and have an ice cream and then the ants crawl on the ice cream, what are you gonna do? You're gonna eat the ants because it's made out of protein.

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I played the spoon game. In a white neighborhood.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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why did the irishman need plastic surgery? because after the bear attack where there used to be a face there is now a gap

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Billy and Joseph are playing Rock paper scissors. Billy says paper. Joseph proceeds to throw a rock as hard as he can at Billys face and sends him to the emergency room where he was later diagnosed with terminal testicular cancer.

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Y didnt the grandma go to christmas? She died on thanksgiving

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Superman and Batman get in a fight, who wins? No one the world has just lost a superhero.

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Why do men not get cullulite? Because it's ugly.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Doctor Harold Boo, I was your grandmother's primary caregiver, I'm here to inform you that she died of a massive heart attack.

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Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she is dead.

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guess what im a bitch i have no balls and i can slap your mum in the face

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Q: What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? A: Nothing, he's Jewish.

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Knock knock, ... Little Timmy bursts into tears, Because his parents don't love him.

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You want some cake? Sure! Okay, go buy the ingridients and bake me some. YAY!

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An englishman, a scotsman and an irishman walk into a bar together. They sit down at the bar, and the barman says, "What is this, some kind of joke?!"

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What did the computer say to his girlfriend? I'm going to RAM you tonight.

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Q: Why did the 10 year old squirt his dad with the water hose? A: What to year old WOULDN'T?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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