Your mother is so fat, she spends all day in her bedroom, eating chocolate and crying herself to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Hair

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Why did the little girl jump off a cliff? because she was at a cliff jump at a water park

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Q: what do you call a phone that's fake? A: a phony...

thumb_up thumb_down -116

If pro is the opposite of con . Is congress the opposite of progress?

thumb_up thumb_down -122

what was the funniest part of the titanic sinking? nothing, many innocent people were killed and left their family devastated.

thumb_up thumb_down -124

I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +121

What's green and fuzzy and has legs that would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +67

Q: What did the Asian say to the Jew? A: Nothing. They were both anti-social and preferred to stray from face-to-face conversations.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

What's the difference between a duck? I'm sorry, I was typing too quickly and missed off the end of my sentence. I meant to say "What's the difference between a duck and a goose?" and the answer is that they are entirely different species of waterfowl.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

What do you call a Mexican named Chicee? Chicee

thumb_up thumb_down +49

How do you kill a clown shoot it in the face

thumb_up thumb_down +45

A traveling salesman came into town and needed a place to stay for the night. A farmer told him that he could sleep at his house, where he introduced the salesman to his young, sexy daughter. "Why hello," said the salesman. It's very nice to meet you." And then he went to sleep in the bedroom that the farmer had prepared for him.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

whens your birthday? July 16th What year? Every year

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She's a women.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

There once was a man from Nantucket I raped him. The End.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, my chickens aren't allowed in rural areas...

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A black man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and chats with his work friends. Then he goes home to his loving family.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How are a duck and a bicycle the same? They both have handlebars. Except the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What does Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobil? ... - Come on Robin, let's get into the Batmobil...

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Row, row, row your... Canoe.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A guy walks into a bar and thinks of a superlative anti-joke. After having an enjoyable time at the bar he then promptly goes home and posts it for the world to see.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What was Michael Jackson doing at the Dermatologist's office? He was getting a mole on his back examined to be sure it wasn't cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops