Why did labour not win the election in 2010? Because they are clearly shit.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, shit is brown and so are you

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We're sorry, but something went wrong. We've been notified about this issue and we'll take a look at it shortly.

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Q: What has four eyes but can't see? A: A blind guy with glasses

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn the people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? cause he had mad-cow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican Cross the road? He was on His way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was walking to his car, racist....just kidding, he was on his way to rob a bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney Loves you.

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What do a mole and an eagle have in common? They both live underground apart from the eagle.

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There were 3 men on a rough each granted one wish to make. The first guy sees a bird and runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a bird and he flies away. The second guy sees a butterfly so he too runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a butterfly and flies away. The third guy telling himself those were all stupid wishes, makes up his mind what he is going to wish for so he runs to the ledge and just after he says "I wish to be" he trips on the ledge and says, "shit!" So his wish was granted and shit he became. The End.

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What's 8 foot tall and can't breathe? Ryan Eisenhour

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Not really a anti joke: Superman is flying over town when he suddenly spots a completely naked Spiderwoman moaning and all sweaty while rubbing her her legs, This gets Superman really h0rny but does not want to get caught, so he flies down and bangs away so fast nobody notices a thing a thing and leaves. Spiderwoman: Hey honey whats wrong? Please come lie on top of me again! Invisible Man: AAAAAAARGH!!! IT FEELS LIKE I HAVE A DAMN BOWLING BALL UP MY ASS HOLE!!!

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

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whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a beanch can support a family

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There is a wizard standing on a street corner. A boy walks up to the wizard and says, "Can you turn invisible?" The wizard replies, "Oh, I'm not a wizard. I'm a hobo with a long beard and a bathrobe." The hobo then proceeded to begging the boy for money.

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What disease did Harry Styles get? 1Infection! (if you don't know, Harry Styles is 1direction's manager)

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What do you call a baby girl that has grown up? A women

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what did the gay man say to the pole? May i have this dance

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So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order some wine and have an enjoyable evening.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what its name is.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He has no legs.

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He who laughs last...is not a laughing owl because they're extinct.

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how do you see the difference between a ceiling and a floor? people dont walk on a ceiling

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how does a a fat person dance? with his feet

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where was Billy during the bomb? Every where

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http://www.booksie.com/declan_mckimm

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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