Why was the boy in front of the adoption center sad? He lost his lolly-pop.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Knock, knock. Whose there? A Mountain Lion wait...what

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Why are black people afraid of lawn mowers? Because whenever you start it, it says run nigga nigga.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Your momma is so hot your dad married her. She then slept around with other men. Your dad found out and now they're divorced.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What did the lighthouse say to the tree? Nothing because they are both unatimate objects and cannot speak

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Whats more fun that a hooker - her mother

thumb_up thumb_down -42

There were two elephants in a bathtub. One elephant says, "Hey, could you pass the soap." The other replies, "No soap, radio."

thumb_up thumb_down -44

LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

How do you make a blonde go 'ewwwww'? Hand her a moose placenta.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

People say that shit don't stink But shit does stink It stinks like shit!

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Why did the Old Lady cross the road? Because the worm selected her as a weapon

thumb_up thumb_down -46

A muslim man with a long beard and wearing a turban and robe boards an aircraft with a large suitcase. The plane later arrives at its destination a few minutes past the estimated arrival time due to bad weather.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

What did the rake say to the shovel? Nothing, they're both inanimate objects.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Little Jimmy's mommy loved to see the smile on her only son's face as he ate her homemade cookies. Due to lack of medical knowledge at the time, Little Jimmy contracted diabetes and died before he turned 30. Unmarried and childless, he was diligently working on his doctorate thesis on Astrophysics. His death marked the end of his family line.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

How do you get someone off a swing? ask them politely.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

whats fun,atracks children and says wrape van on it my van i lied about it being fun

thumb_up thumb_down -48

chuck noris- can swim through land god- can walk on watter i- can run on air

thumb_up thumb_down -48

What do Black people call their fathers? Dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Why is three afraid of four? Because four ate five.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops