A: I accidentally shot my sister with a rifle! B: you don't have a sister? A: exactly

What starts with F and ends with uck? Fire truck

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

What's Blue And Fat? A Brick. I like to lie a lot.

teacher: who's going to pass english? students: us teacher: not you, i lied about the passing

these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

Life is like a bridge. You get walked on all your life until you fall apart.

What does 10 dead babies in a microwave look like? I dont know. I was too busy masturbating.

How do Asians name their children? They throw them down the stairs and see what sound they make.

Why do children go to school? Because they have to learn.

What's worse than the holocaust? The Jews.

If polar bears were pink they'd be very easy to find

Why is my penis 2 inch hard? Because I rape little boys with it and there tight little asshole are crushing it

Old Mother Hubbard Went to the cupboard, To give the poor dog a bone: When she came there, The cupboard was bare, And so the poor dog had none. So Old Mother Hubbard was reported for animal cruelty

Roses are red violets are blue vodka cost less than dinner for two

what's the difference between your grandmother and a dead squirrel? Technically, if you burn them both, your grandmother will produce more ash, but apart from that, they are both useless pieces of carbon.

What do you call a 5000 pound gorilla? Obese - gorillas should weigh around 400 pounds.

What Do Yu Call 2 gay guys? Tyquan And Dnautica

What's the difference between a black man and a white man? The black man eats chicken.

What would you do for a klondike bar? Walk to the corner store to buy one.

Were you born on a freeway? because thats were all accidents happen.

A cricket walks into a bar and the bartender says,"Hey, we have a drink named after you!' and the cricket says,"Oh really? You have a drink named Joe?"

What's up? Up Adverb: Toward the sky or a higher position. Preposition: From a lower to a higher point on (something); upward along: "I climbed up a flight of steps". Adjective: Directed or moving toward a higher place or position: "the up escalator". Noun: A period of good fortune. Verb: Do something abruptly or boldly: "she upped and left him". Synonyms: adverb. upward - upwards - aloft - above - upstairs - overhead preposition. on - upon - over - along - with adjective. rising noun. ascent - rise - upgrade verb. raise - enhance - increase - lift - rise

What did the old man get for Christmas? He forgot because he has alzheimer's

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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