How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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How do you make a drug dealer cry? Just say no

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Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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What's the difference between a melon and a baby? You have to cut open the melon before you can eat it

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Q: What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? A: You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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Q: Suzy loves apples she will o anything to get her hands on an apple. A: You guys are so gullible!!! She DID eat Tom's apple. ...... then he killed her.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? The pilot. You racist.

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Q: Wgat do you call a black man's dead bodie? A: A corpse.

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What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

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Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

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It's raining, its pouring, the old man is snoring. He bumps his head, and is quickly rushed to the ER for serious head trauma

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What do you get when you cross scabies with genital warts? Krusty Krabs.

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy. But I have Alzheimer's... Hey, I just met you...

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What did the black guy say when after he jumped in the pool? Wow, its kinda chilly.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? Their religion.

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a father listens to his son while he was on the computer. he heard "BABBY BABBY OHHHHH" and busted in He was releaved to find him masterbating to porn because he thought it was Justin Beiber

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Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Doctor Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains! Really? Well that's the least of your problems. Your test came up HIV positive.

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Why a frog can fly? It has magic. Why a snake can fly? It ate the magic frog. Why a eagle can fly? It has wings.

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Friends are like balloons.. If you stab them they die.

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because the The husband told her to...

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What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

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You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops