Roses are red, violets are blue, shit is brown and so are you

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

Why did Todd have intimacy problems? He was molested as a child.

Q: what did the emo girl use to check her email? A: A computer.

Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

what is awesome but stupid at the same time? school i lied about the awesome part :p

why is the earth mad at the moon? cause the moon mooned the earth

Why did the chicken cross the road. ... It didn't.

If X = 3 and Y = 7, what is X + Y = ? It doesn't matter. You forgot to put your name on the test which means you got an automatic fail.

Knock, Knock Who's there? Dave. Dave, who? Dave, your neighbor, I ran out of eggs making a quiche, could I borrow a few?

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a fridge halfway through walking.

Why does Chuck Norris own a can named Chuck Norris? because he is self-centered due to all the attention payed to him for virtually no reason at all.

What's worse than a bag of dead babies? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Jews.

What's been hit millions of times? A woman married to an abusive husband.

Why can't black people get sunburned? Natural selection allowed ancient Africans to develop a darker skin shade that would counter strong UV rays.

What's the coolest place to be in the solar system? Uranus.

Why was the boy sad? Because his mother and father had just disowned him.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue If you think this is gonna rhyme, You're dead wrong.

What's brown and hides in the closet? The Diarrhea of Anne Frank.

What happened when the high school student had intercourse with his history teacher? orgasmic noises.

What did Sally get for chirstmas? Cancer

Your mother is so fat, she is dying due to obesity and it would be utterly disgusting to make fun of anyone in that situation.

Why can't Abraham Lincoln tell a lie? Because he's dead.

Did you hear why the peanut got arrested by walking next to another peanut? One got a-salt-ed

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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