"DUDE! THERE IS A KNIFE IN YOUR LEG!" "SERIOUSLY!"

Michael Vick walks into a pet shop. He buys a puppy and cares for it lovingly

A chicken rode into town on a horse named Friday. He was later shot by a dyslexic Russian dinosaur.

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. I slipped you a roofie, get ready for me.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

So the question i got asked in order to post this was: Which one is easiest? and I thought to myself, the slutty one, obviously!!

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she was born with no arms and is not loved.

100 chefs walk into a bar

A girl talks to here boyfriend about collage. What is his responce? Nothing. No one talks about college.

What do you call a discrase of a living enviorment? African huts there so muddy

1 black man on the moon = problem 10 black people on the moon = problems Whole black population on the moon = problem solved

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

Knock Knock Whos There? I'p I'p who? HAHAHAHA

Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

You had ONE job. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to support your dying wife and ill child.

A high school student finally gets the nerve to ask his long-time crush on a date. They begin dating, and eventually settle down and get married. After six months of marriage, she dies in a car crash and he spends years in therapy.

knock knock Who's there? Will Nealis Will Nealis who? Will nealis continuously finds himself crying himself to sleep as reality begins to smack himn in the face revealing to him that nobody has, does, or ever will like him. He is also informed that the reason his parents left him is because he is such a flaming ginger, his nasty face ruins the atmosphere of any room he walks in to. he has been adopted by a lovely gay couple and he takes after both of his fathers very much, in the aspect of enjoying massive animal c o c k in his mouth as well as having threesomes with his dads. will goes to school everyday and is tormented for being homosexual, so when he goes home hie parents beat him....off and have lemon partys with wills grandpa as he watches and masturbates vigourously.

Why didn't the man fall off his bicycle? Because He wasn't riding a bicycle!

What was the only thing the little boy from tanzania had? AIDS.

What's do you call a prostitute in a hospital? A concerned parent.

Roses are red My balls are blue Get off Unless You want too

how do you get a nun pregnant? have unprotected SEX with her, resulting in expulsion from her convent

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was attached to a bomb filled with spoons

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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