I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

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A local police officer pulls up to tell you something. Listen carefully: Three zebras have been spotted crossing the Mexican border. He goes into his truck, pulls out a can of marbles, peanut butter, seven velcro straps and a rhino horn covered in glitter. Your mission is simple: Kill the zebras using your equipment. You will be rewarded if you have enough peanut butter to make a sandwich after. Go now... Get it done.

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An man walks to a bra

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A Hispanic walks into an alleyway and sees two of his rich friends. He desperately needs money and only has enough time to shoot one of them because he sees the police following him. He decides which one to shoot... Wait, if he has enough time to think about this shouldn't he just shoot both of them?

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how do you stop a black man from drowning take your foot off his head

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What did the POW say to his captor? I do not want to be waterboarded.

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What do you call a man in a wall? Stuck.

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how many babies does it take to fill up a blender? None. they all died before being put in a blender.

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Cliterus

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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What do you call a Middle Eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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Why cant Helen Keller driver? She's a woman

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knock knock who's there? your destiny

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So a girl says "I want to be a banana when I grow up". She's set unrealistic goals and her parents fear she may be autistic.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

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What do you call a black prostetut with braces. A black and decker pecker wrecker

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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Why are Germans good at soccer The Holocaust.

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Why did Johnathan drop his popsicle? He was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Johnathan

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Hey! Have you ever heard of the Alzheimers joke?

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What's red and can't find a family? A fire hydrant

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Why didn't 6 like 7? Because 7 was a huge racist.

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What did the ginger say to god? Nothing it has no soul

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Jews

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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