whats black? the colour

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knock knock... ...no answer

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How do you confuse a blonde?? Throw her in a circle room and tell her to find all the corners If she comes out and says I found the corners.. then your screwed

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A man walks into a bar. Nothing happens that's worth explaining.

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Why was the 18 year boy afraid of his dad? Cause his dad butt raped him when he was 7.

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there once was a chicken it was yellow

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Why couldn't Horton hear a who? He was a loaf of bread.

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What does and elephant and me have in common. Everything, I am an elephant.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to his mother's funeral.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not a blind guy.

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Why couldnt the man find his wallet? He didnt have one

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There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

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A Lion walked into bar. He ordered a steak Because lions love meat.

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The ability to live the life of a dead person.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Your mother is so fat, she struggles to control her weight even with dieting. Obesity and heart disease runs is in her mother's side of the family; she and everyone close to her is very concerned.

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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In Soviet Russia, Joseph Stalin killed a lot of people and there was nothing funny about it.

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? Because his parents are dead.

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Indians

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What do you call a drunk, blind, deaf monkey driving a car? A bloody good driver!

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

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knock, knock who's their? police get down on the ground!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops