What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is an inanimate object and a Mexican is a human being.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Landlord; you've been evicted.

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The Grinch stole Christmas, he accidentally dropped it and Christmas was ruined for everyone life sucked -shane,Adam,David and Riley go cry about it

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for Christmas? The sweet, merciful release of death at the hands of his father, who had been struggling with the emotional and financial drain of raising a severely disabled child for many years. It was only a matter of time before the man snapped, as he was a single parent working twenty hour days, seven days a week, to just barely cover all the medical bills that the specialists and therapy incurred.

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There are two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other "dang, it's really hot in here." Realizing that muffins can not talk the other muffin wakes up to a very hungry man biting his face.

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Roses are red I got a new phone But no one to text Forever alone

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The police catch them, and they are sentenced to jail.

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A fat guy!

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Little Timmy walks into an ice-cream store. He dies on impact.

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Why did Jimmy pass out Cause he drank a full tallboy

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*there was a tv sitting on the side of the road..* person 1: hey why doesn't that tv work? person 2: because it's broken?? person 1: no..because its not plugged in!

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Mooses

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What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

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Haikus are lovely But sometimes do not make sense Refrigerator

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What is worse that a bee sting? 2 bee stings what is worse that 2 bee sting? Kony what is wose than Kony? 3 bee stings what is worse than 3 bee sting? being allergic to bee stings

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What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

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Q. How many infants does it take to paint a wall? A. Depends how hard you throw them...

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What song did Buddy the elf sing for Santa on his birthday? Happy birthday

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies " My daughter just died of leukemia."

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A blonde asks, "How come i cant get this to go in there?" However no one replies because no one is there.

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knock knock whos there open open who the door

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Why did the guy go to the strip club? To look at naked people.

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You see this dick stop being a spick now suck on my wee wee u prick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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