Hey how is your wife and my kids

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Kindly reject the offer and give it back to life.

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How do you confuse a black man? Call him from a blocked number and I say "I love you"

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Sara had no arms! Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sara!

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A Muslim walks into a bar, and has a pint of lager because he has chosen to integrate into his host country's culture. He then leaves without incident.

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Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am colorblind I hate my life

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q: what's green and has wheels? A: a john deere tractor

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what do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill Exercise

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Daniel G. Likes to perve on the boys in the locker room. Change quick guys!

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whats got two legs and cant walk a paraplegic

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Whats green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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Whats worse than seeing your family killed in front of your eyes? Not much to be honest

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing.

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Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

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Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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What do you call a Muslim Extremest at the bottom of the ocean? A terrible tragedy for the Muslim community.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks the duck "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck and it can't talk.

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Why do women live longer? Once their sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

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What the last thing that went through Osama's mind? A bullet

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Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

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What did Harry get for his Birthday? Nothing nobody likes Harry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops