what do you call a a miget crossed with a vampire? A miget, vampires are a figment of you're screwed up imagination.

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-Knock knock -Use the doorbell -Oh... ding dong -Who is it? -Me -Oh -Yeah -Cool -Come in -Okay -Take off your shoes -Alright -How are you? -Good -That's good -Yeah -Okay -K -Oh -Bye -See ya

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A car with four Mexicans drives off of a cliff. What's the bad news? They were my friends.

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Why can't black people swim? Many of them can. It's racist to assume that.

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Coach walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, i can't serve you. You aren't wearing pants. Coach says "put it on my bill."

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OMG YOU BOUGHT ME FLOWERS THANK YOU

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Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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Why was the black guy being talked to by several policemen? Because he was advertising a new renting deal on an apartment downtown and the two policemen were openly gay and have a right to live together.

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Why was the uneducated black guy raped? To make this joke more risky and therefore funnier.

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Where do the biggest potatoes grow? the ground.

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homosexuals are gay

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Why did the chicken cross the street? Because the light was red and cars had stopped.

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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what did the cripple, the cancer guy, the blonde, and the blackguy have in common they all have no reason to live

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It escaped the zoo.

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Guy: guess what girl: what Guy: nevermind girl: no what Guy: i love you girl:.. i love myself too..

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A horse walks into a barn.. The farmer says "why the long face?",This frightens the horse ultimately leads to the farmer getting kicked in the teeth

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Whats the difference between the Taliban and a Football Team? I'm not on the football team.

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Roses are red Violets are actually the color violet, contrary to popular belief.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was Gnrwhaf

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If there's somethin' strange in your neighborhood Who ya gonna call 911

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Q: What happened to the fat man on the roller coaster A: The roller coaster went slightly faster due to the laws of gravity

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What's Green and flies? Super Grapes cousin Super Grape

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops