An African-American is like a hammer. It can't be trusted in the hands of women.

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Why was the wife disappointed in her husband? He hasn't been very talkative since the suicide.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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Why was the boy holding his breath? A man was holding his head under water.

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Yes or No? You're wrong because it was both.

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What did the blonde say when she found a dead bird on the sidewalk? "Aww, look at the poor dead bird!"

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whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

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Did you hear the one about the nascar driver who couldn't pass his road test? No. It's true, he couldn't pass his road test.

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Montague goes to the alcoholics meeting and says "Hello I'm Montague and I am an alcoholic" Evreyone points at him and chants "LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!" Montague is appaled, he expected to be welcomed with sympathy and respect. Then he realises his mistake. He has walked into meeting with a bottle of whisky and is wearing a Justin Beiber T Shirt

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Why did Sally cross the street? Because someone was gonna rape her if she didn't.

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There's a god, just kidding.

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Why did the italian go to jail? because he had just robbed a bank and then brutally murdered his wife and kids.

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What did the Atheist say to priest? Evolution

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Why did the girl fall off the swingset? Because she got hit by a refridgerator.

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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knock knock whose there? banana? banana who? im sorry but you have to go to the doctor now.......

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Knock Knock The doors already open

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Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

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Edward Smith had started telling a long rambling joke when William McMaster Murdoch cut him off with "I don't like where this is headed".

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What does a salmon and a falcon have in common They both live underwater except for the falcon.

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What did the penguin do in the desert? He died .

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What's big and green and would probably kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table.

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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