- Anti Joke

So there's this girl who really wanted red socks. She goes to the store, socks are $2. Well, that sucks, she thinks. I only have $1. So she goes home and asks her mom for a buck. Sure, the mom replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my vacuum cleaner. So the girl fixes the vacuum cleaner, mom giver her the buck. The girl goes to the store, but wait. Socks are $3 now. Girl goes home, asks her dad for a buck. Sure, the dad replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my car. Girl fixes car, dad gives het a buck. Girls goes to store.Well damn, the socks are $4 now. She goes home and asks her brother for a buck. Sure, her brother replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my computer. Girl fixes computer, brother giver her a buck. Girl goes to store and FINALLY buys the socks. She comes home. Mother dead. Vacuum cleaner exploded. For 1 month the girl mourns her mom. Finally she can wear her socks. Ah crap, car accident. After 1 month mourning her dad she can finally wear the socks. Well, turns out she can't. Brother dead cause of exploded computer. After yet another month of mourning, she can FINALLY wear her red socks. So she does. Suddenly the doorbell rings. The girl opens the door and there's a polar bear standing in front of her. What did the polar bear say? WELL NOTHING, BECAUSE POLAR BEARS CANNOT TALK!!!

My friend on xbox told me about this cool clan. I went to join but I didn't like to wear the white robes

Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes You should probably get yourself checked.

A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's genitals to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

where did you get those clothes? at the toilet store.

why couldn't the tree grow? Because I cut it down with a chainsaw

What do you call a snooker cue that only hits stripes? Anything you want, it can't hear you.

How do you find a true idiot jump in the road when the light is green.

Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? I don't know.

How do you kill a dumb blonde? Stab them in the chest 43 times.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, We've just had sex, Now you have aids too....

Why did the chicken cross the road? He lost his punch line. -by Ross

Today we eat large amounts of pizza. The one piece had a lot of mushrooms. Like more than the other pieces. The cheese was flawless except for the burnt edges.

what is the different between a prostitute and your wife one is on contract and the other pay as you go

Roses are red Violets are blue Dandelions are weeds

My mother's star sign was Cancer. Ironic how she died really. She was attacked by a giant crab.

why are you reading these jokes? i have nothing else to do. ok

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KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

Once upon a time there was a man exercising, he pulled a muscle and had to have his heart removed. In other words, don't exercise. The end.

roses are blue violets are red dont judge me

roses are violets red is blue i like doughnuts doughnuts are good

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Ebola, You're going to die.

Knock Knock Who's there? Kevin. Kevin who? Kevin Smith. Oh yes, Kevin Smith that lovely boy from just around the corner! Come on in!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops