Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

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Q: Hey, wanna hear a joke? A: Sure! Q: Alright, cool. *leaves*

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Why was the protester on the floor? Because the protest had become a riot, and police brutality is a serious issue.

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What did the man say to the young, blond athletic girl walking by? "Hi."

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Why couldn't tom concentrate on his homework? Because he was a loaf of bread.

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How do you stop your baby crawling in circles? Pick it up and smother it.

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Why didn't the boy want his dinner? Because it was a bowl of vomit.

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Why do catholic priests enjoy the company of boys? Because they must remain celibate and cannot have children of their own.

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Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

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What do you get if you cross a river with a cat? Wet.

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How do you cheat your friend up Throw a BRIC at her face.

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What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

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A smart kid just answered a question in class, a blonde girl then says "Nerd, your always answering all the questions". The teacher then says "Hey thats not nice, he could be your boss one day." The smart kid quickly replies "Highly unlikely, i do not plan on being a pimp when i grow up".

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25 kids go into the water. shark in the water. 10 come out. Ice cream man deals with the rest of 'em.

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There is a wizard standing on a street corner. A boy walks up to the wizard and says, "Can you turn invisible?" The wizard replies, "Oh, I'm not a wizard. I'm a hobo with a long beard and a bathrobe." The hobo then proceeded to begging the boy for money.

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Q: What did the forgetful person say to the other? A:

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There are two angry guys in a park on their lunch break What do they do? They eat their sandwich and go back to work to settle a peace treaty.

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Why Tom is Gay ? Because brocoly didnt eat a mashroom .

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When the mom came home from work, she was very tired. Her son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She says sure and makes one for him. The boy was very happy and ate his sandwich. I was actually lying above. The mom was actually killed by three men in hoodies that were hiding in her backyard. The came inside and also murdered the boy. Worst of all the killers took all of the food and the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat, Guess it doesn't matter since he is gone...

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because humans do not have the capability of accessing the chickens brain to receive their knowledge and what they were thinking about in the past.

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What's worse that pooping in your pants having someone see it

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pudding

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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