Steve Jobs is alive.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

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What is a holocaust victim's favorite food? Nothing.

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Q: How do you stop a hobo from stealing your money A: You steal the hobo

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

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What did the Chinese man say to the Japanese man Nothing as they have never met

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Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

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What did the kid in the wheelchair get for Christmas? AIDS.

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What did the traffic light say to the car? dont look at me am changing.

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Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme The end

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Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

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Roses are red Violets are blue You just lost the game UMAD Bro?

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but the real question is why there are two flies having sex inside a light bulb.

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roses are red yoda is green my lightsaber needs 2 hands if you know what i mean

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

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What is small, slimy, and thrown in the garbage? A stillborn

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Why did the young boy drop his bus. He was hit by an ice cream.

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Why was Hellen Keller blind and deaf? Because she was a girl.

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Roses are red Violents are blue Oranges

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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