what do you give a little girl with no arms no legs and who lives in a orfanidge for christmas?.................................... nothing because no parent wants a freak kid

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Knock Knock.. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Daves dead. This is Darrell.

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When life throws lemons at you, just give up and commit suicide!

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why did the man paint his house? cause he never wanted to mow the lawn

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What did Rachel (the columbine girl) get for her birthday?? Nothing she's dead.

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Q: What did little Jimmy get his grandfather for Christmas? A: Nothing his grandfather died on Thanksgiving

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why was the pineapple bullied at school? cuz it was a pineapple duhhhhhhh

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How do you scare a plumber? Kill his family.

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Why were the Dinosaurs wiped out? Porridge.

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Why was the girl distressed by the photo of her boyfriend's mutilated corpse? Because it was out of focus.

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Q: What's big, black, and smelly? A: The unemployment line.

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How often do you remember a dream? Well what if I told you that this is a dream go ahead pinch your arm. You probably didn't feel pain. And just incase jump out a fifth story window. Come on do it. Now if you are still reading this you are either dreaming or didn't jump out the window. Shame on you!!!!!!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? grape. Grape who? Purple grape.

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Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your dick taste like shit.

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Man #1: What was the hardest part about watching that kid get hit by that bus? Man #2: My dick...

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knock, knock! who's there? i don't know i don't know who niether do i...

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Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us << Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us << Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <<

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What did john say to bob Hey bob

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Once, a woman told her son to be a peach and fetch some sugar. Little did she know that a genie heard her. The next day, she was horrified to find her son gone and a peach in his bed.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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Your mom's so fat that when she stepped on the scale at the doctors office the doctor said " hey i wanted your weight not your phone number"

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There is a bus full of puppies and babies with a plane flying above it carrying 2 tons of explosives. The Bus arrives safely at its destination.

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A man used a ruler to measure his foot, it was size 11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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