Mommy, Mommy, I don't like Daddy! Well leave him on the side of the plate and eat your peas instead!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock Knock Who's there? Immigration. You're headed back to mexico.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why was Logan sad? he was raped by his daddy multiple times

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why didn't Lucas want to go down the slide? He was scared.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do black people and tornadoes have in common? - It only takes one to destroy a neighborhood.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the patient die of aids disorder? Butt sex. Lots and lots of butt sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a man that's very angry? A Very Angry Man.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem about Red rosses and blue violets

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did the Mexican eat a octopus because he was hungry would die if he didn't

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are rose, violets are violet, that's just a fact, I've got aspergers.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what didn't I do when making this joke? Read and agree to the terms of service.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? one's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, the other is a lawyer

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the two blonds go to the bar together? Because they were carpooling to save money and help save the earths ozone layer that seals in all of our oxygen. They were also meeting some friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A Mexican, Asian, and a black guy are on a bridge, the Mexican says there is too much rice and throws some off the bridge, the Asian says there are too many burritos and throw some off the bridge, the Black says there are too many candles in his house and throws his car off the bridge. Everyone was happy and left besides the Black because he threw his car off.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Yo mama is so fat because she doesn't exercise and eats way too much calories. The reason fat people gain weight is because of low metabolism which means her body is not burning a lot of fat and instead is storing fat. A healthy life style such as playing sports, walking in a park, or eating healthy foods will benefit her from any medical complications in the future.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A black guy, a white guy, and a mexican are on a boat, stranded in the middle of the ocean. Feeling a bit hot due to the above average temperature of an early april afternoon, the white guy and the mexican strip down to enjoy a refreshing dip in the water a few feet from the boat. The black guy, feeling a bit left-out and perhaps even envious at the apparent fun of the other two, speaks up "Hey fellas, do you think one of you could come sit in the boat so it doesn't float away so that maybe I can enjoy the water too?" Hearing this, the white guy and the mexican look at each other utterly astonished. Grasping for a rebuttal, the white guy gathers some courage and says "Do you really think that's a good idea?... You JUST finished your sandwich."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A forty-year-old man forces a young child to strip down and take a shower. The child screams and cries, but the man persists angily. He then carries the child into his bed. The child pleads, "Help! Mom, make him stop!" The mother yells back, "Just listen to him. He's your father and it's past your bedtime." This is a common night-time routine for parents with their first child

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why didn't the little boy wake up today? Because he's dead

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's black, white and re(a)d all over ? A penguin in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the worst joke ever? Justin Bieber.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How did the 8 year old child die? He was raped at the age of 7 and given the STD of AIDS. His clock then started as his family weaped his final days of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops