Why did the blonde turn red Because some one lit her on fire

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Josh is sooo great at blowing, xoxo Dylan Hodge.

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Girl:Do you wanna hear a joke? Boy:Sure... Girl: jesus loves you

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What do you get when a sister and a brother have sex? A deformed child.

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Mac, or Big Jim, as his friends call him, follows the same routine that he has every day for the last several years. His days are always typical and very rarely differ or have any excitement thrown in the mix. It usually starts off by him waking up next to his wife, whom was always giving off a potent and delightful smell. This happens because she has a certain shampoo that makes her much more pleasant-smelling than the normal person, especially as she sleeps. So Big Jim then takes his pillow and throws it at her head. She usually wakes up thinking that he is trying to be a nuisance because of that, even though what follows next has happened every single time for the last few years. He continues to lightly hit her with the pillow until she, in a delightful flurry of feathers, begins to strike back. After a fun and good-looking pillow fight, he then proceeds to the bathroom to urinate and then wash his hands. After this, he then brushes his teeth and gets dressed. He goes to work and is encouraged by his boss every day for his astonishing effort and is then threatened to be promoted if it improves any more by the end of the month. He is always being encouraged by his boss because he does as much as he can do at the Woman's Abuse Shelter. He cares. But, at the end of the month he is never promoted because he threatens to take his boss's daughter out for ice cream - of whom he has fresh photos of her most recent farting accident as proof of his promise. His boss found this quite creepy and inappropriate. Normally, someone would go to the police, especially when there is photographic evidence, but the police chief is too busy to join them for ice cream and the only detective in their small town moved away four months ago. This caused a problem because the ice cream was never disposed of since the only ice cream man died one day prior due to old age. He was 79 at the time and well-loved by the community. After work, Big Jim then went home and his wife hugged him with delight. After dinner with his wife, Big Jim went to bed and had a good night's sleep.

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Robert: wanna hear a joke? Robort:ok, shoot. Robert: *BANG!*

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Why are white people white? Cuz they were Born This Way Why are black people black? Cuz they were Born This Way Why are Mexicans so tan? Cuz they were in the sun too long at birth

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why did the man get ran over by a turtle? he crossed the STREET

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Why did the woman fall off her bike? She got hit by a car door

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot n' spicy and the other analyzes urine. -Emo Phillips

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A princess kisses a frog to transform it into a prince.. She is soon arrested for committing bestiality

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What's funnier than British people ? Their tea in the Harbor

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Q:Whats evil ,not funny and on wheels A:The Holocost on wheels

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whats the hardest part about eating a vegitable getting your mouth around the wheelchair.

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Why didn't the chicken not get across the road? Cause it's head got shot off by some drunk asshole

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Knock Knock........wait there cars gone, I'll come back later

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Why did the black man buy a gun? Because he and his family live in a dangerous neighborhood.

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What do you call a Black guy picking cottnon? A cottonpicker

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What's the Chinese guy's favorite color? Blue.

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How did the Jewish husband and stay together forever? They didn't. They ended up in divorce like 50% of all other married couples due to irreconcilable differences.

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What happens when you hit a black guy with your car? He is seriously injured.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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How do you knock up a Catholic girl? Put your penis into her vagina without wearing a condom.

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Have you seen stevie wonders new house No Neither has he

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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