Last Christmas, I gave you my heart but your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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Why did the baby stop crying? Mommy shook him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Eggplant.

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My life

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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noodles

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The landlord. You're being evicted.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? Well that would be crude and insensitive to ask a person with dementia to do a task so easily performed by a person who is not non compos mentis.

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What did charles get his sister for christmas? Nothing, he's dead

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I believe you, if something is possible, I know you can do it. I tried lucid dreaming once, but I felt like I began floating and that was no fun, scared me. I am pretty good at hypnotizing others, myself not so much.

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A man is walking down thwe street. All of the sudden, an armoured truck comes around the corner really fast. The back doors swing open, and bags of money fly toward him. "I can believe this is real!" the Man exclaimed. "It's not. Feed the pig." said a man in pig suit with a giant coin-slot on the head.

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there is a man swimming in the ocean with a tree in the ground eating him up so , the cantelope asks the microwave where is the store the microwave says nothing because it is an inanimate object and cannot speak even though the cantelope can which is unfortunate

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-Why Peter is going to mall for buying some beer? -Because he was 18 and he was able to do it.

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Q:What type of cheese isn't yours? A:NACHO CHEESE!!!!!!!!!

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What is the difference between a monkey and a pig? A monkey doesn't snort drugs.

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What's the opposite of a joke. An anti-joke.

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What did the gay guy get for Christmas? AIDS

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You know, dark humor just isn't everyone's cup of liquiffied dead baby.

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What's green and goes "Kablowie!"? Probably nothing.

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Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners.

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^that joke's not funny

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What's worst then not getting anything on Christmas? Rape, Murder, Dying.

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your mama smells so bad she should probably go take a shower.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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