What do you call a really bad actor? Nicholas Cage

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Why was the girl crying at the dance? Someone shot her.

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what do you call a mothers mothers father's brother's son's uncle's sister's brother's aunt's father's stepbrother's granddaughter's mom? I dont know... im asking you, why are you reading the answers then?

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Whats similar between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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What's bigger than your penis? The Empire State Building.

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What did the pauper want for Christmas? Money

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Q: what happens to the black guy that walks into the bar. A: He walk in ,gets a drink, and leaves

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How do you act when you discover that the 'Submit' button doesn't work? Wait for a while until the problem fixes itself and you are able to perform the desired function.

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what did the girl say when she got a ring? OHHH look i got a ring!

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I don't fucking know.

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13.

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wat?

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Roses are red Violets are blue

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there is a man swimming in the ocean with a tree in the ground eating him up so , the cantelope asks the microwave where is the store the microwave says nothing because it is an inanimate object and cannot speak even though the cantelope can which is unfortunate

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You have three biscuits. Your friend eats two. How many biscuits do you have? A: 3 Your friend is bulemic so he throws them both up, so you still have them.

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, it's destroying his family.

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How do you stop an assassin? Kill their target

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hello.

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Why did the koala fall off the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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A man is walking down thwe street. All of the sudden, an armoured truck comes around the corner really fast. The back doors swing open, and bags of money fly toward him. "I can believe this is real!" the Man exclaimed. "It's not. Feed the pig." said a man in pig suit with a giant coin-slot on the head.

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what rhymes with sloth? rape

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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A man walks into a bar. He breaks his neck and his insurance provider hikes up his interest rate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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