Whats the difference between a black guy and Luke Skywalker? Luke met his real father

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A bear just broke into my house and im scared…...... Oh wait thats just my 350 pound teacher… now i'm even scareder

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a 2 storied house ? A dolphin! :D

thumb_up thumb_down -5

roses are red you are dumb no one will care when you die

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why doesn't Michael Jackson play with my brother anymore? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did Chuck Norris eat a sandwich? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock Knock Who's there? The holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a depressed alcoholic drug addict whose children had all been diagnosed with a rare form of terminal brain cancer, and he decided to end it then and there by jumping in front of an approaching bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A jew walks into a bar.... He has a beer and then goes home to his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did Susie fall off the monkey bars? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Wanna hear a dead baby joke? Of course you don't. they're sick and disgusting and enjoyment of one merits only the deepest of society's hatred and scorn.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A girl and her family were walking by a cliff. Suddenly - due to a a part of the cliff falling away - her family fell over the edge and died. The girl ran to the bottom of the cliff and saw her family's body's strewn across the rocks, blood everywhere. She didn't have a phone on her and so could not call the police. She called over a man she saw in the distance. He asked "What's happened?". Just managing to stammer the words through her tears she said "My entire family fell off a cliff and died". The man unzipped his trousers and said "This really isn't your day is it love?"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, Oh wait... I'm blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what did the homeless man get for Christmas? RAPED.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man is driving the speed limit of 55 on the highway. He gets pulled over and the cop says, "Do you know how fast you were going sir?" The man replies "Well yes I was going 55, the speed limit." The cop says, "No you were going 80." The speedometers broken.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did Colnel Sanders cross the road? Colnel Ryan Sanders crossed the road to attack Taliban fighters who were endangering his military presence.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

There was a blonde, brunette and red head driving in a car. The car breaks down so the three of them decide to walk. So the red head takes water bottles, the brunette takes food and the blonde took the car. The red head asked the brunette why she was taking the food, the brunette said "incase i get hungry i can eat" then the brunette asked the red head why she brought water the red head said "incase i get thirsty i can have a drink. Then the brunette asked the blonde why she brought the car the blonde said "to drive home".

thumb_up thumb_down -5

If you're having girl problems, I feel bad for you, son... Because I can empathise with you, and it's not a very nice situation to be in. Hope you work it out.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the Asian eat so much rice? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call the black guy with a gun a ski mask on? Tyrone, because thats his name.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

a mulslim wlaks past a bomb shop on his way to join the international peace club

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was in a van headed to the slaughterhouse.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops