What do you call an obese kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

What kind of ship never sinks? Not the Titanic.

One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver. She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so. She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you." He replies "BREASTS."

how do people without arms and legs have sex? no one has sex with people without arms and legs.

what do u say when u steal something? STOLEN!!!!!!!!!

Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

What's a foot long and slippery? A slipper.

has anybody else just skipped to the short ones

Why didnt the guy knok on the door Because the door was open to begin with

Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

Why didn't little Timmy see the bus right before it hit him? Because he was blind

Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

"The only thing worse than being talked about is getting AIDS." -Oscar Wilde

Two muffins were in an oven. One of them said, "It's sure hot in here!" The other muffin didn't respond because it's dead.

10% of car thieves are left-handed. 80% of chimpanzees are left-handed. Therefore, if your car is stolen, there's an 8% chance a chimpanzee is responsible.

Exercise Ex - Er - Cise Ex - Ar - Size.. Eggs Are Sides For bacon.. BACON

When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Me Doa Kong Oh, Hi! Come on in.

Your mother smells so bad that if she were alive in 1919 she would most likely be outlawed in the Geneva Convention or at least banished from conventional warfare among nations that adhere to the restrictions imposed by such a document

A new scientific study has scientists baffled as it clearly shows that teen sex drastically decreases at age 20.

What do you call a concentration camp with a mental disability? Auschwistic.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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