Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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A girl falls out of a tree. She got hit by a flying pig.

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A:Knock Knock B:It's open

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A black car pulls up early in the morning and slows down by your house You see him pull a mysterious object out of his car and point it at you, The paper boy tosses a newspaper at you

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Your mums so stupid. She bought an apple for 35p even though the shop across the road sells them for 34p

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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Harry Potter: Hey voldemort, you wanna go get our noses pierced?? Voldemort: I killed your parents.

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Simba was moving slow,so I told him to MUFASA!!!

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Three men walk into a bar. The first guy bought two drinks, the second guy bought three drinks, can you guess what the third guy bought? A tazer.,

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What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus is? Trying not to laugh.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He actually planned to visit his family on the other side, but unfortunately he did not look both ways so was involved in a terrible car accident. His family now mourns their loss.

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What's funny about four black guys driving off a cliff in a Cadillac? They were my friends...

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Women's rights

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What's the difference between a clown and a dead baby? One makes people laugh and the other is a clown.

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What' worse than random Holocaust jokes? The Holocaust

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one time when i bought a sonic blast they gave me a regular? size spoon and i was like this is a huge inconvenience.

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How is a frog similar to a corn dog? They both have really long tongues, except for the corn dog

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Hey I'm You're mother..... Haha Jk you're adopted

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why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

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So there was a guy in the middle of the street, how did he survive? ...He doesnt because he gets hit by a car becuase hes in the middle of the street...

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So there was once this cool little dude that had a purple nose. People would walk by on the streets and say, "Hey! That's a cool nose!" Purple nose man appreciated that they didn't pretend it wasn't there, and instead celebrated the diversity. The next day, he was scalped.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because chickens just walk places. they have no agenda.

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I found someone on the ground who wasn't breathing and had no pulse.They must have been in a damn deep sleep.

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Hai Patrick Hai Patrick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops